i don’t know where is safe
all i know is tearing myself down
deconstructing into dust
until i am nothing more.
I’ve been trying to make me new,
a deep breath of space and wind and empty opportunity.
but i leave it up to you.
i can only lay my broken body down
battered and bruised
everyday is a battle, and finally, I don’t want to lose.
I pull myself apart,
looking for a piece of me that fits perfect
to you.
to your edges to my sides.
this is my slow Resurrection, this is my self-made art.

After I close my eyes
Before I open them
Cloudy
Dreams drift past me
Escaping my memory
Floating farther away
Gasping for breath, no oxygen in space, the space i begin to embrace
Hey it’s not so bad, maybe it’s okay
I see where I used to breath free, me with the ginormous need
Just hoping to be the King of the Stars
Loftily, inside, you know you’ll go far
Many times I’ve wondered? But
Now I truly know
Only death escapes you
Pleading for the life you saw as your own foe
Questioning the people around you
Round and round you float
Silent space, will your feet ever touch the ground?
Though you are weary you will never find rest.
Up to the stars
Very far away from where you’re used to.
Whimsical, it all seems like a joke
X-ray pf my own mind, wish i could find
You’re imaginary.
Zap.

my truth has been spread around

i’m tired of hearing all about it

and i hate the person attached to my body

hate the headache in my head

over and over again.

you’re my escape

you’re my heartbreak

and i’m nothing more than hurt .

i fell in love again with the world

for a simple second

but i’m just a sick girl

who says she’s not okay.

now how can she complain?

there’s a part of me

in telling my pain

that maybe i’m only

looking for someone to blame.

what am i, anyway?

just someone who wants get away.

i’m not suicidal for revenge

i’m not suicidal for sympathy

i’m suicidal to end the broken me.